I'm tired of trying to please everyone and I'm tired of people not listening or caring about what I think

I'm sorry if you had your chance and you ruined it and now you want me back because you think you have had a life changing experience that made you better. But I see the demon lingering just under your skin. I see him and he waits. He's been out once or twice since your life change. Nothing is more unattractive to me. Sure, my body responds when you come into the room, but my heart doesn't skip its beat. Keep working at it. And for you, you don't really know much of what's going on and I know you tried to be friendly and get to know me and I know you are just trying to hang out with people and meet people, and maybe I did you wrong. But I'm sorry I'm just not interested I don't think. And for you, the source of all my emotions right now. I have never been done the way you did. I don't even know why I let you in. I should have just cut ties, but I had to say goodbye. I had to be selfish for my heart. I feel like this is goodbye. I feel like this is the last time I'm gonna see you. So I took my chance and had to do it. I did it. I wanted one more taste. I will always want one more taste. But I think I have to cut myself off. Cause I will find someone who's ready. Someone who wants me back. Why is everything spinning?